Unbearable Pain
by XxOtakuDemonxX
Summary: Spending 12 years as a demon, Ciel and Sebastian haven't been getting along. Ciel attempts to do something unforgivable, after separating ways, they find each other in the busy streets of a small city (current time). Sebastian tries to apologize but will Ciel be able to forgive him? Might be Rated M in the future chapters? Thinking on it.
1. Chapter 1

Unbearable Pain

"I'm so sick of you! Get out!"

"Oh yeah? How do you think I feel about this? Me, stuck with you, forever. You, a little. . . brat!"

"A brat?! I'm tired of you and your stubbornness!"

"Like I give a damn, I'm like this 'cause of you! I'm starving!"

"I'm not holding you back from leaving!"

"Have you forgotten about our contract?" He pointed at my right eye, holding up his left hand, showing the seal of our contract.

"Of course I haven't! ...I could never forget that. . . or that day either."

Its been a short 12 years since Ciel turned into one of _them_. The day it ended and his new life began. As a demon. In those short 12 years, the tension between Ciel and Sebastian worsened. They couldn't stand each other, they couldn't even look at another without getting into another argument.

Ciel hated arguing with Sebastian, he didn't want to hurt or offend him. The words Sebastian spat at him, wounded Ciel. All he wanted was to patch things up, but Sebastian made that difficult with his unforgiving eyes, harsh voice, and his expressionless face. This made Ciel mad, which is why he argued back.

"Neither could I," Sebastian scoffed. "I never thought I would be living the rest of my life with a fucking spoiled brat." He muttered under his breath.

That was it, "Fuck you! You know what? I'm through with you!" Ciel snapped angrily.

"Our contr-"

"I know that! Which is why I'm gonna do this." I grabbed the pair of scissors off the coffee table in front of me.

"Yeah? And just what are you going to do?" He asked with a smirk on his lips.

I raised the scissors, letting it hover a few inches from my right eye.

"Ciel-"

"Oh,_ now_ you care, well it's too late."

"No, Ciel, I can leave, just. . . don't do this."

I shook my head, clutching the small metal object in my hands. I bit my lips, readying myself for what was about to happen.

"This is what I have to do to get rid of you," I whispered softly, giving him one last look, my eyes filling with tears. I gripped the scissors, pointing the tip in front of my pupil, tears streaming down my face. "I'm sorry," With one last look at his worried face, I brought the sharp object to my eye.

"Ciel, no!" Sebastian lunged at me, reaching for the scissors.

Ciel let out a horrific scream, feeling dizzy as he collapsed onto the floor, unconscious.

**Well that's that. Do you think Ciel really did it? Or that Sebastian stopped him before he could? Yeah, I know its short but... I don't know. I'll make sure to make the next couple of chapters longer.**  
**And to the people who made requests, I am so sorry I'm taking forever with them, between school, swimming practice, babysitting and homework, I haven't had a lot of time to write them, I have not forgot about them and I'm currently working on them. **  
**Anyways, this is only the first chapter and I will try to finish everything soon... or so I hope 0~0**  
**~Otaku**


	2. Unbearable Pain Chapter 2

**I know I should have explained this in the first chapter, but stupid me didn't think. So I'll explain it now. I thought, if somehow, the seal of Ciel's and Sebastian's contract was ruined in any way, the contract didn't count. Ending it. I know in the anime, Sebastian lost his arm holding the seal, but it wasn't damaged, but I'm just thinking this :P Anyways;**  
**Disclaimer-I do not own Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) or any of its characters ;_; All of it belongs to Yana Toboso, the wonderful woman who created this amazing anime/manga.**  
Unbearable Pain  
Chapter Two

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Bee-_  
Ciel slammed his hand down onto the alarm clock, shutting it up from its annoying noise. Ciel didn't even have to look at the calendar or his phone to know what day it was. He sat up, his hair falling over his eyes. He reached up, putting a hand over his right eye, remembering the day where he and Sebastian seperated.  
That day. . . it feels like it was just yesterday when he shouted such hate filled words at Sebastian who yelled back. That's when Ciel lost it, taking up the scissors, holding it right in front of his eye that held the seal of the contract. And. . . then he. . . I. . .  
_"This is what I have to do to get rid of you," I whispered softly, giving him one last look, my eyes filling with tears. I gripped the scissors, pointing the tip in front of my pupil, tears streaming down my face. "I'm sorry," With one last look at his worried face, I brought the sharp object to my eye. _  
_"Ciel, no!" Sebastian lunged at me, reaching for the scissors._  
_Ciel let out a horrific scream, feeling dizzy as he collapsed onto the floor, unconscious._  
Ciel shook his head, trying to get rid of the memory he fought so hard to forget. The memory continued to play in his mind like a movie, Ciel watched reluctantly as the vivid memory of that day played in his head.  
_"...el!"_  
_". . . iel!"_  
_"Ciel, please, wake up! Say something! Anything!" The voice cried out. _  
_Ciel drifted in and out of consciousness. His whole body felt heavy and numb. His head hurt. . . as did his eye. Trying to open them, he winced, feeling a sharp pain rack throughout his body._  
_"Please. . . Wake up. Say anything. . . yell at me, scream, or blame me! Just. . . open your eyes. . . for me. Please!" The voice pleaded. The voice sounded heavy as it sobbed. Ciel felt something clutch at his shirt lapels, feeling something wet and warm land on his cheek, running down his neck, drop after drop. _Were these tears?_ Ciel thought, not knowing whether if they were._  
_"Please. . . I hope you're okay. . . Ciel."_  
_Ciel let his name bounce around in his head. Confusing him. Mocking him. Never before had Ciel ever heard his named called by Sebastian that was so full of remorse, pain, and suffering. . . _Why does Sebastian feel this way? I brought this upon myself_._  
_Ciel then felt a large, warm hand slid into his, their fingers intertwining together. Feeling Sebastian giving his hand a tight squeeze as if he felt that if he let go, he would lose Ciel forever. _  
_Does Sebastian. . . really care for me this much? To cry over me? We never held hands before, and now, Sebastian was gripping his own tightly. _  
_"If I stopped you in time. . . you wouldn't be like this. This is all my fault, I should've never talked like that to you because. . . well because, I love you, Ciel. Yet, I treated you so badly just to let my anger out, even though you didn't deserve it. . ."_  
Ciel shook his head furiously. _No! Stop! Please! Just make it stop_! He gripped the sides of his head, clenching his eyes shut, trying to stop the memory from playing any further. "Augh!" His right eye throbbed, pulsating behind his thin eyelid. He placed his hand over it, his vision blurred as the eye continued to throb.  
Ciel threw his legs over the sides of the bed, stumbling to his feet, the sheets falling to the floor, piling up at his feet. Ciel staggered to the bathroom, bumping into the walls, falling every once in a while. Finally he reached the bathroom, he gripped the edge of the wooden counter, using it to keep himself up. He leaned forward, staring at the mirror. His eyes widened in horror, "No. . . it can't be. After all this time. . ."  
The scar that ran through his right eye was. . . gone. That scar, white and ragged, running through the seal of the contact, cutting it in half. It was gone, like as if it was never there. _This could only mean. . ._  
"He's back." Ciel whispered.

**If you couldn't tell, Ciel did do it, and sadly enough, Sebastian didn't stop him in time. If you want me to go into gruesome details of how it went down, I'll add it in the third chapter. And holy chiz everyone, Sebastian just said he loved Ciel. **  
**~Otaku**


	3. Unbearable Pain, Chapter Three

**Okay, here's the third chapter, sorry for making you guys wait so long, knowing some of you people were demanding for this chapter and to make them longer - which I will do, I know for sure this chapter is longer. For some reason, I was having the most trouble finishing this chapter. Writers block I guess :P **

Unbearable Pain  
Chapter Three

"He's back," Ciel whispered, looking at his now fully healed right eye. He still couldn't believe the scar vanished. He blinked a couple times, rubbing at his eye, making sure he just wasn't seeing things, but the eye remained unscarred.  
"Why is he back? After he. . ." Ciel shook his head, biting his lip as he fought back tears. "No, if he's here, why would he come back after leaving me? Does he. . . regret it?" All sorts of questions raced through Ciel's head, questions, he himself, couldn't answer.  
_

Sebastian turned left, getting onto the highway, only to get stuck behind a huge SUV with their left turn signal on, but weren't turning. He sighed heavily, looking out the window, staring at the asphalt roads that stretched beyond his veiw.  
Finally, the traffic let up, letting Sebastian exit onto the main road that was supposed to take him to his new apartment complex, or that's what his GPS told him. He took a right, landing him in a street filled with restaurants, small buisinesses, and street vendors.  
After a few blocks, he came into his quiet neighborhood. The apartment complex was about 10 stories high with floor to ceiling windows covered with long, thick white curtains, blocking any view from the outside. The building was a light sky blue, a few shades lighter than the sky above him.  
Sebastian stepped out of his black _2013 Alfa Romeo 8C_, bathing himself in the bright sunlight of the afternoon, looking up at the tall complex. He then leaned back into the car, grabbing his small black duffel bag, slinging it over his shoulder.  
"Argh!" Sebastain gasped, nearly dropping the bag. He looked around to see if someone attacked him, but no one was around. What was that? He suddenly shed his black leather glove on his left hand and. . . His breath caught in his throat, his eyes widening at the seal of his contract on the back of his left hand. The mark a bright, violet purple, nearly pulsing with its bright illuminating color. A sharp pain buzzed in his head, feeling like someone was banging a hammer inside his head nonstop.  
"What?" He whispered to himself, knowing full aware that he couldn't answer a question he didn't know.  
_"Sebastian!"_  
Sebastian jerked his head around, knowing he just heard someone call out for him, and yet, no one was there. The streets eerily quiet and empty for the middle of the day, especially in this city.  
_"I'm so sick of you!"_  
_Was this. . . ? No, it couldn't be._  
_"You jerk!"_ The voice echoed in his head. Now, Sebastian was sure of this. The voice in his head, was in fact, Ciel.  
Of course. Today was. . . the day when it all happened, 112 years ago.  
A bright, white light passed in front of his eyes, blinding him.  
A boy, no older than 15 years old. His eyes - a deep colbalt blue - were filled with raging anger. Sleet grey hair hanging over his forehead, half covering his eyes underneath. His lips pulled into a straight line. This boy, Sebastian knew very well, a face he could never forget. Ciel. The boy he left, alone.  
It all came rushing back to him. That day.  
_"Ciel!" Sebastian yelled as the young boy's body fell lifelessly to the floor. Bright red blood streaming out of his right eye, looking as if he were crying blood. The blood was coming nonstop, pooling around the boy's head like a red halo. _  
_"I. . . Ciel." I fell to my knees, landing next to his limp body, my pant sleeves soaked with the blood. As if snapping out of a dream, Sebastian slipped his hands under Ciel's legs and neck, picking him up off the floor. His head lolled against Sebastian's shoulder, blood flowing onto his white button-up, seeping through the thin cloth, wetting his skin with the sticky liquid. _  
_He walked over to the couch, laying the small, fragile body on it, gently propping Ciel's head on the arm rest. Sebastian watched Ciel's chest, after a while, it slowly rose and fell with a short breath, he let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding. He left and came back with a bowl of warm water and a wash cloth. _  
_Cleaning away the already drying blood, he noticed a long, red scratch on Ciel's right eyelid, panic rose in Sebastian's chest. Swallowing hard, he gently pushed up the thin eyelid to see Ciel's eye. He regretted it. _  
_The seal of their contract was ruined. A cut ran through the pentagram, blooding flowing freely from it. Hand shaking, he lifted his left hand, slowly tugging off his white glove, showing his pale skin. His own contract. . . was gone. _  
_The back of his left hand, was clear of any blemish, scratch and of course, seal of his contract. He quickly pulled off his other glove, examining his hand, to make sure he hadn't mixed up his lefts and rights. But both hands were clear of the seal._  
_This can't mean anything, right? He asked himself, thinking of anything for this kind of situation, but nothing came to mind. Does this mean. . . Ciel will die? He shook his head violently for thinking such a thing. _  
_Pushing away the thought, he fixed up Ciel, placing a bandage over his right eye, letting him sleep on the couch. _  
_Days, weeks, months, a whole year passed. Nothing happened. Ciel stayed the same. Still and unconcious. Every few weeks, Sebastian would check Ciel's right eye, to see if the eye magically healed itself, but no change happened except for the scab built over the scratch. _  
_Sebastian got more worried by the day. Guilt filled him with regret. One day, he lost it, grabbing Ciel by his shirt, shaking the almost lifeless body and started yelling demands, he knew he wouldn't answer but he felt he had to try. He didn't notice the tears escaping his eyes, falling onto Ciel's face, leaving small trails on his skin. _  
_"I love you. . . " Sebastian sobbed, shoulders shaking with each racking sob. He fell asleep on the boy, holding Ciel's hand tightly. When he awoke, he realized what he'd done. A huge mistake. Ciel heard him, even though he wasn't awake, he knew. He could think of the questions Ciel would demand to be answered._  
_"Why did you say you loved me? If you love me, why the hell did you act that way?!" He could see the anger in the young boys face as he demanded the questions be answered._  
_Sebastian had to leave. Not knowing what to say once Ciel woke. Sebastian packed what little things he owned and left, not before he gave Ciel one last worried look and out of selfishness he leaned down, brushed away the blue-grey bangs off his forehead and pressed a gentle kiss on Ciel's head._

**Finally finished! Almost took two weeks - sorry. As you can see, I made this chapter longer for the people who said to make them longer. And seriously, Sebastian? Wow... leaving Ciel alone in a house. . . alone. Shame on you, Sebby.**


	4. Unbearable Pain: Chapter 4

**Hey guys! I'm sorry I disappeared for over a ****_month._**** I was going through some issues and finally worked them out, not that you guys care or anything... Anyways, enough about me! May I present to you chapter four of Unbearable Pain.**

Unbearable Pain: Chapter Four

Sweat trickled down the side of Ciel's face. Everything felt _wrong_. His lungs were itching, burning to get oxygen into them - though demons didn't need to breath. His mind was racing with unwanted memories of his past - the first and his last - life. His heart was pounding inside his chest, hammering away. Blood rushed through his ears, blocking him from hearing anything else. His vision focused and unfocused, making him dizzy with nausea. His stomach churned, tasting bile rise in the back of his throat.  
_What is happening to me?_  
He felt his knees buckles under him, he put out his hands in front of him to break the fall. "Ugh!" He went crashing to the floor, his vision splotching with black spots until all he saw was darkness. Swallowing him into it.  
_What the hell is happening to me?!_

_A long stone path led him up a small hill, winding around small brush and plant life. Familiar trees lined the path, swaying softly in the light breeze, ruffling his own hair in front of his eyes. _  
_He knew where he was before he saw it._  
_The Phantomhive Manor. _  
_The church-like building rose behind the hill from where he stood. No, he thought. It has changed. It was the manor he grew up in, but now it looked old and worn of age. Ivy climbed up the walls, cobwebs spread across the window panes and the smooth stone was cracked and discolored. _  
_The front door opened, letting out a long squeak as it did so. A puff of smoke billowed out of the doorway once it was fully opened. Pitch black was all he could see past the door frame A hand reached out, long and slender, delicate fingers beckoning him towards the eerie mansion. One part of him told him no, that he should turn and run, the other part told him to stay, to follow whatever was calling for him. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, undescisive. _  
_"Ciel. Come," A smooth voice said, catching Ciel's full attention. He knew that voice, even though he hadn't heard it in years. It was high-pitched, sweet, and melodic. That voice could only belong to one person. His mother. _  
_"Mother?" It came out in a harsh whisper, not sounding like himself. His mother laughed, a carefree one, softening into a light giggle. That's weird, he thought. I've never heard my mother giggle before. _  
_He stepped toward the mansion, his own heels clicking loudly against the cobblestone. He stopped before the door; cold air escaped from inside the building seeping into his skin, chilling him to his bones. The pitch blackness inside seemed endless, like a pit. "Hello?" He called out, his voice echoing throughout the hallways he couldn't see but knew that they were there. _  
_A sweet high-pitch sound answered him, and he instantly knew what it was. His mother giggling; it seemed to come from the dining hall. He started toward it, though there was no light, he could navigate through these halls with his eyes closed. _  
_He stopped, turned, and put out his hands out in front of him and felt warped wood underneath his fingertips, then feeling the rusted doorknob and pulling them open, letting out dank, dusty air, making him cough. The tall windows that were once clear of any mark or stain and always shining, were now cracked and caked with a think layer of dust, barely letting in any light from the outside. In the dim light, he could make out the long dining table, its white table cloth deteriorating with age. _  
_He looked around, but there was no sign of his mother. "Mom?" He took a step inside the room, his moves cautious and careful with every step. A flash of white passed behind him, and he whirled around, turning on his heel, and saw her. _  
_Her long blond hair was out of its usual knot and fell past her shoulders in light waves down to her waist. She wasn't wearing a evening gown or one of her favorite dresses, instead she wore a loose, white nightgown that floated around her, as if wind was blowing through it, stopping above her ankles. Her feet never touched the floor as she moved towards him, her toes barely skimming the floor. A light seemed to radiate from her, as if she was glowing from the inside. Other than that, she looked the same as he remembered: her face soft and caring, her eyes filled with love and light, her small, delicate hand reached out and cupped his cheek, instead of feeling the warmth he expected, it felt like air was touching him, slightly pushing down on him. She spoke:_  
_"Ciel, my darling little boy. How me and your father missed you so." Her voice was like small, tinkling bells, chiming as she spoke. "We thought you had died, but when you did not join us, we grew worried. Years went by and still no sign of you. We thought you descended into. . . " Her eyes wandered to the floor, avoiding to look at him. He knew what she was going to say: Hell. He knew his parents were huge Christian's when it came to church or the Bible, but he himself never believed in a God or some such. _  
_"No mother, I am very much alive. I cannot join you and father, for I have chosen a path that forbids me to ever join you. I shall live forever, wandering the earth."_  
_"I know. You have changed. You are a demon, one just like Sebastian is. I know you did not choose this, a boy did this to you. But now it is no more, Ciel, now you can join us."_  
_Join her? There is no way to, I cannot die, unless I am to be harmed by the demon sword that is now lost on the island only used by demons as a sanctuary. What did she mean, "it is no more. . . you can join us."?_  
_"What do you mean, that it is "no more"?" He asked, looking at his mother, whose expression has not changed, creeping him out._  
_"Oh Ciel, do you not understand? You are human. You no longer bear the mark of that beast, Sebastian. Look, see for yourself." She held out her hand, palm turned upwards facing the ceiling, and a small mirror materialized: oval shaped, a silver frame holding the reflective glass inside. _  
_Slowly, he leaned forward until his whole face showed in the mirror, staring back at himself. He reached up and pushed away his bangs that grew long enough to cover his eyes. Both of his eyes stared back at him, only this time, they weren't the mismatched color he had grown used to. Both eyes were a dark shade of cobalt blue that he had inherited from his mother._  
Human.  
He was human.  
But. . . how?  
No. This is just a dream, come on, Ciel. Wake up. _Wake up!_

Ciel bolted upright, sitting up, realizing that he had passed out on the floor, why was he on the floor? He couldn't remember.  
It all came back to him in a rush, flooding his head with the dream where he saw his mother, and how she told him that he was now a human again. It was just a silly dream, he thought as he pulled himself off the couch and back to the bathroom, leaning forward towards the mirror, and, hand shaking, reached up to brush away the long bangs from his face and saw it. Two dark cobalt blue eyes stared back at him.  
_It was true, it was all true. _  
_Human._  
_Human. _  
_Mortal._  
_Not a demon anymore._

**Holy chiz, Ciel's a human? ****_Again?!_**** Dafuq? Haha, you'll have to wait till the next chapter to figure out what happens and I will try not to disappear for a month.**

**~Otaku **


End file.
